Posts Tagged ‘joke’

The Pig and the Horse Story

July 18th, 2011

here was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed to
complete his collection. One day, he found out that his neighbor had the
particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered his neighbor
until he sold it to him. A month later, the horse became ill and he called
the veterinarian, who said:
“Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days.
I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to
put him down”

Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached the
horse and said:

“Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they’re going to put you to sleep!”

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came back
and said:

“Come on buddy, get up or else you’re going to die! Come on, I’ll help you
get up. Let’s go! One, two, three… ”
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:

- Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise,
the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:

- Listen pal, it’s now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get
up! Get up! That’s it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three… Good,
good. Now faster, come on…. Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yay! Yes! You
did it, you’re a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and
began shouting:

- It’s a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let’s kill the
pig!

Points for reflection: this often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly
knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who’s
actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!

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Reeve and Jones Jokes-on-You Pranks,12 Piece Set

October 1st, 2010
Latest Joke Amazon products

Reeve and Jones Jokes-on-You Pranks,12 Piece Set

  • Box of classic practical jokes
  • Includes hand buzzer, magic ink, snake in a can, pet vomit, fart whistle and goofy teeth
  • Also includes squirt ring, squirt gum, x-ray specs, dribble glass, money snatcher and pet poop
  • Kids love playing jokes on their friends and family
  • Great gift for boys age 5-12

The Jokes on You Prank Set features 6 of the best selling classic practical jokes for kids to trick others! Includes a whoopie cushion, magic ink, nail through finger gauze, snappy chewing gum, pet poop, and a squirt ring.

Reeve and Jones Jokes-on-You Pranks,12 Piece Set

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Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

September 28th, 2010
Latest Joke Amazon products

Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

From the creators of the Joke of the Day blog available here on Amazon for your Kindle: everyone needs a laugh or two, and with the Kindle you can take your humor to go. These jokes run the gamut from (a) a standard set the scene, go through the story, then tell the punch line to (b) slightly over 475 blonde jokes in a question and answer (Q&A) format. You will find most of these jokes hilarious, some of them funny, and a small minority will not be funny at all (then again, you can’t please all…

Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

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Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

September 26th, 2010
Latest Joke Amazon products

Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

From the creators of the Joke of the Day blog available here on Amazon for your Kindle: everyone needs a laugh or two, and with the Kindle you can take your humor to go. These jokes run the gamut from (a) a standard set the scene, go through the story, then tell the punch line to (b) slightly over 475 blonde jokes in a question and answer (Q&A) format. You will find most of these jokes hilarious, some of them funny, and a small minority will not be funny at all (then again, you can’t please all…

Blonde Jokes: 500 Blonde Jokes to Make Your Toes Curl!

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Super Incredible Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

September 17th, 2010
Latest Joke Amazon products

Super Incredible Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

Bestselling author Bob Phillips saves the day once again with another heroically humorous collection of knock–knock jokes. Kids can choose their favorite knock–knocks to liven up someone else’s afternoon or just spend long family trips entertaining themselves. Perfect for bringing a smile to anyone’s face, Super Incredible Knock–Knock Jokes for Kids will keep youngsters and their friends laughing for quite some time.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

A little boy.

A little boy who?

A little boy who can’t reach the doorbell.

With so much good clean fun in hand,…

Super Incredible Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

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1001 Great Jokes (Signet)

September 15th, 2010
Latest Joke Amazon products

1001 Great Jokes (Signet)

1001 Great Jokes (Signet)

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Brick Recruitment!

January 9th, 2010
HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation ....

If they are counting the Bricks, put them in the accounts Department

If they are recounting them..Put them in auditing ..

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks…Put them in engineering

If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order…. Put them in planning

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other…Put them in operations

If they are sleeping….Put them in security

If they have broken the bricks into pieces….Put them in information Technology

If they are sitting idle….Put them in human resources

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. ..

Put them in sales..

If they have already left for the day…Put them in marketing…

If they are staring out of the window…Put them on Strategic Planning..

And then last but not least…


If they are talking to each
other and not a single brick has been moved...

Congratulate them and put them in Top management

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Singh is King

December 28th, 2009

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar : Punjab ..
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in Punjab ..

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. /
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass..

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… . drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE :
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ……
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup….

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

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LIVING IN 2009

December 15th, 2009

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 WHEN…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

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